"... When Somebody Loves You Back"

Call me crazy but I don’t think most people mean to hurt others. Malicious intentions require energy and effort and plotting and well, I know I don’t care that much to devote my time in such a negative fashion to another individual. I’m sure I’ve considered it but then again I’m just not that dedicated. Knowing I’ve hurt people anyway (however unintentionally) and in turn remembering being hurt by others who never truly meant me any harm has got me to thinking about where it all comes from.  I’d like to think of this phenomenon as a deviance from the 50/50 rule, when two people simply aren’t on the same page, leaving room for misunderstandings that often leave people disappointed.

Relationships depend on interest and effort. Whoever cares less and puts forth less effort typically controls the relationship, seeing as the person more heavily involved has invested more and therefore has more to lose when things don’t turn out the way they’d want them to. For me, this has applied both intimately and with friends. I’ve often caught myself thinking how could someone do this to me when in all actuality I should’ve accepted we simply weren’t on the same page and moved on. I know I’ve too done it to other people, maybe casually dating someone who in my opinion cared far too much and in the end being accused of leading them on. And well, that’s just no fun at all.  I’d suggest being more honest in situations like those, as I myself have tried to do more often, but then again that’s not always the easiest to do. Oy vei.

But anyways, let me tell you… there’s nothing like a 50/50 love, meaning equal interest and equal effort, that person "you don't mind going the middle of the road" for. While that particularly goes for intimate relationships, it also applies to friendships. When you’re on the same page, shit is just less likely to hit the fan. 

There will be exceptions. But keep in mind that a tremendous amount of energy can be saved by just learning to roll with the punches and understanding most people just don’t care enough to intentionally hurt you.